[Note: I'm recovering from a tooth extraction this week, so I am reposting an article that originally appeared at my AuthorsDen site in November 2005. From time to time I will repost one of my "greatest hits" from the past two decades.
23 June 2007: I have added a second article to this blog titled Uncomplicate My Life, part 2. If you want more ideas about how to manage your life, CLICK HERE, and it will open up in a new window.
Any time you find something on this blog useful or enjoyable, please consider leaving a tip of $2 or more in the Tip Jar at the top of this page. That will help defray the monthly cost of this blog ($14.95) and, more immediately, recompense me a bit for the hundreds of dollars I lost this month in author royalties for the past quarter. For details, you can see my blog post here dated January 11, 2007: "Once more, unto the breach of trust." As always, thanks for reading. --Bill]
It’s so tempting just to grow lazy in the current cultural
climate. Mentally lazy, spiritually lazy, physically lazy. It’s all just too
easy. We can always blame our parents, the kids at school, the bullies in the
neighborhood, society at large (“an un-understanding world,” as the film Heathers famously put it) for our frustrations and complications.
It’s easy to lose faith in ourselves. There are so many
tempting distractions, and it’s so easy to feel depersonalized. The workplace is
either too challenging or too boring. The Internet and the TV all bring us more
information or stimulation than we can sort coherently. It seems like we’re
always staring into some goddamn screen in order to get a grasp on reality.
No one understands us.
There’s always a new car or a new house to buy. Some new
gadget that’s supposed to make our lives more streamlined or more pleasant,
anything from an iPod to a vacuuming robot to a vibrating sex toy.
Yet how can we determine what’s really important to us and
how we exist in a relatively natural state, unless we put down the toys and
stop blaming others for our problems?
Find an affordable place to travel. Take long walks. Talk to
the people who live there. If they don’t speak your language, learn a bit of
theirs. If you’re American, see how long you can go without telling people
where you’re from. Disassociate yourself from your usual group while you’re
visiting. Wear something that doesn’t give you away. Try to listen more than
you talk. Take a bus or train, or get into your car, and travel for a few hours
without a map or destination. Try to end up someplace unfamiliar, where you can
get yourself lost for a while. Don’t use a global positioning system to tell
you where you are. (After all, it’s just another screen, right?)
You will become more alert, more aware of the sights,
sounds, and other sensory aspects of your surroundings. You may have thoughts
and feelings that surprise you. That is good, even if they seem frightening at
first. Just sit with them, and let it all wash over you. Just be in the moment.
Then, when you feel you’ve had some experience that you recognize as a defining
moment of your adventure, find your way back.
Talk to people when you need help finding your way, or when
you want something that catches your interest explained to you. Don’t let
yourself grow too frustrated or bored with your surroundings, but recognize
that a bit of disorientation and boredom is okay, wherever you are.
Once you’re back in your room, leave the TV off, and if
possible, the Internet as well, for these things tend to distract you from your
immediate surroundings and can suck up more of your time than you intend for
them to. If you must use these devices, then set yourself a time budget for
that and stick to it. The discipline will do you good.
Then, once you’re home from your trip, keep acting as if
you’re still traveling. Budget your time for distraction, but don’t get tedious
about it. Make time in your life, at least once a day, to visit some unfamiliar
place. It can be a neighborhood, a park, a museum or library, a family-run
restaurant — just make it anyplace that is not set up with the express purpose
of entertaining you. Go for experiences that increase your activity, rather
than encourage your passivity. Find situations that engage you, rather than
pre-packaged “experiences” that remove you from your opportunity to make
original choices.
Stop buying products and services that you don’t really
need. Don’t borrow money to pay for things. Learn to pay your bills on time,
even if it’s uncomfortable and even if you can’t afford to pay off the whole
thing at once. Close up any loopholes that make it easier for banks or other
companies to keep you hooked on their products and services.
You don’t have to buy everything you think you do. For
instance, walk into a library and open up an account so you can borrow their
books, CDs, tapes, and other media. If you eat prepackaged meals a lot, learn
how to make something from cheaper “scratch ingredients” that’s easy and tasty.
Go for a walk instead of paying for a movie.
Figure out what you care about, passionately, and strive to
make it part of your life. Cultivate a personal style. Don’t wear what everyone
else is wearing, and don’t say what everyone else is saying if you don’t
believe in it. Do things on your own sometimes, without your family or friends,
and pay attention to what moves you. Learn discernment — the capacity to make
choices that reflect your true priorities and concerns, rather than those of
others. There are many good books and tapes on assertiveness, time management,
and other topics that help you manage your life and free yourself of family or
societal pressure to conform. Read some reviews and get the information that
seems like it might work for you.
Every time you say “yes” to a commitment, say “no” to
another. If you need a reason not to commit, just say that you’ve got other
priorities. Don’t feel compelled to explain yourself.
After you’ve done this for a while, up the ante. Every time
you say “yes” to a commitment, say “no” to TWO others. And so on. The power to
make choices that reflect your true priorities and concerns is perhaps the most
amazing gift any human can possess.
Uncomplicate your life.
P.S. When you see media that's about other media, typically
they are pushing some kind of agenda. Usually it's an effort to get you to buy
something you don't really need.
see also PutDownTheToys.com
see also www.AuthorsDen.com/BillBrent
Wishing you a beautiful day,
Bill Brent
[this page last updated: 2007.06.23, 7:50 a.m. Hawaii time]
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