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Honolulu

February 04, 2008

Mega-storms

I took the stat below from the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. <-- Click on the NOAA link to see how localized this series of storms is, by comparing our side of the Big Island (east -- "windward" on the NOAA chart) with the Kona side ("leeward" = west of the volcano, drier) and the rainfall of the other Hawaiian Islands.


- This chart gives accumulated rainfall for monitored points throughout the Hawaiian Islands over the 24-hour period effective as of 8 a.m. HST Monday morning. Here are the stats for the Pahoa monitoring site:

:ISLAND OF HAWAII     INCHES

:ID LOCATION          3-HR    6-HR   12-HR  24-HR

: WINDWARD SITES

PHAH1 : PAHOA (HI83) : 1.53 / 2.74 / 6.55 / 10.26


- So we had over 10 inches of rain in the 24 hours ending at 8 a.m. Monday morning. Probably more, since here it is typically rainier than at the Pahoa monitoring site.

Lest I make the other Islands' weather seem trivial, I hasten to add that as of this writing (Monday night), the NOAA elsewhere states:

335 PM HST MON FEB 4 2008
...FLASH FLOOD WATCH CONTINUES FOR ALL MAIN HAWAIIAN ISLANDS
THROUGH LATE TONIGHT...
.A NEARLY STATIONARY UPPER LEVEL TROUGH JUST WEST OF THE MAIN
ISLAND CHAIN WILL MAINTAIN THE THREAT FOR HEAVY RAINFALL THROUGH
LATE TONIGHT.

COASTAL HAZARD MESSAGE
NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE HONOLULU HI
330 PM HST MON FEB 4 2008
...HIGH SURF ADVISORY FOR EAST FACING SHORES OF KAUAI OAHU
MOLOKAI MAUI AND THE BIG ISLAND...
.OVERVIEW...STRONG TRADE WINDS CONTINUE TO GENERATE LARGE AND
ROUGH SURF ALONG EAST FACING SHORES.

In any case, this is the most extensive rain I have seen here since moving from the mainland over two years ago. Thunder and lightning woke us up at various intervals throughout the night. Surge protectors blipping off and on, etc. One of my healthcare providers canceled all his appointments today, as he drives in from Hilo, where his receptionist informed me that 19 inches of rain had fallen within the same period.


Wishing you a beautiful day,

Bill Brent


[this page last updated: 2008.02.04, 7:25 p.m. Hawaii time]


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June 09, 2007

THE DAY AFTER CHRISTMAS (a work in progress)

[Note: This story is l-o-n-g and I just wanted to get it out there. So no purty pitchers today! You can search any image database such as Google images to find many lovely artist renditions of Pele, the Volcano Goddess. —Bill]

Preface:

On Quantum Entanglement[1], Christian Compassion[2], and the Aloha Spirit[3] Being All One

What if quantum entanglement were a form of love, but not "love" in the current human understanding of the concept. What if this impersonal form of love (perhaps akin to what we sometimes call "unconditional" love – somewhere, between "soul" and "attraction," perhaps – cosmic specks of cosmic respect) were always present in the universe as an ever-lasting, ever-permeating glow? Kind of like the Star Wars "force", but more of a cool, dark radiance than a force per se.

Taking without giving an offering or permission is not the Hawaiian way and results in a lifelong curse and sometimes death.[4] 

December 7

We are at a noisy holiday party in the Hawaiian woods. It is late and I am tired, but Hubby wants to tell everyone goodbye first – linger a bit longer, mingle before leaving, maybe make more friends. Someone introduces us to Greg, who is one of the hosts. Instead of the hand-shaking ritual I am expecting, Greg impulsively gropes my cock, balls, and ass, all in the space of an instant, in full view of my partner, our two best friends on the Island, and two of Greg's friends. Seven of us. I bounce away, shocked and surprised. I shoot Hubby a sideways look – can you believe this? – and I roll my eyes. Greg is laughing at me, unconcerned with my humiliation and dismay:

Laugh lines. Fault lines.

Whose fault is it, anyway?

Pele is laughing at my self-importance. She knows it's her fault, all the time. We are all quake soup. Resistance is futile.

"He was furtive – quick and grasping,"[5] Hubby tells me later. "I could see it was a repeat of your junior high stuff, but I didn't know what to do." Well, yeah, I think, a bit defensively, but at least Greg didn't clock me in the face. My body couldn't tell the difference, anyhow: My hands had shot out in front of Greg, at waist level, creating distance, trying to smooth the lava that was shooting up between us.

All composed things are like a dream,
an illusion, a bubble, or a shadow,
Like dew or like a lightning flash,
Meditate on them in this way.[6]

Normally I am so composed. Greg has broken through my smooth surface, but I think he's about to get cut on that lava: 'A'ā lava, sharp, Pele's molten scream, piercing the darkness.[7]

I restrain myself, however, holding the tension embedded in a chaotic social moment where I am the butt of humor. Tree caught in the lava. Why am I so fucking noble?

Fault lines, laugh lines. In my mind he shrinks from Greg to greg, an improper noun. Now greg starts ripping at the seven buttons on my red aloha shirt. Oh, god, Christmas parties; where's the lampshade for his head? I particularly like this shirt; that's why I wore it to this fucking party. It's a cherished old Christmas present from Hubby, and of course I want to keep it just the way it is. Yet all things change form, and form is an illusion anyhow. Resistance is futile. But I hate destruction. Decay. Chaos. I'm fucked.

I back off. greg backs off. He's going to get a free show. I am sarcastic male burlesque[8] as I unbutton my shirt. I still think greg is smart enough to get the joke and be cool. I overestimate greg by a lot. In fact, greg is only an erg. A very small unit of energy: 10-7 joule. This has always been my lot with losers. Bullies. Pricks. I overestimate them all.

erg is tweaking my nipple – "Ooh, that's BIG!" – and still laughing at me. I'm still trying to play it cool. This is a party. But it's all happening in quantum time, and cool magma is an oxymoron. I don't really know how I am expected to deal with a moron like erg anyhow. It's his house. Later I will wish I'd pushed him into that pretty Christmas tree glowing behind him. THREE Christmas trees, each with seven strings of lights! Zsa Zsa Bill says yes, yes, yes. Scrupulous Bill says, what a waste. No one needs THREE Christmas trees, all strung with lights and pearls!

erg's a fucking swine.

And I'm the big dick. And the big pearly nipple. erg's touch is ticklish, not at all erotic. erg's flesh grasping mine, spark exchanged, a pair of quarks, perky quantum particles entangled[9] forever, his taking mine without permission. Pele smiles. Her teeth are sharp.

He's not unattractive. I might have found erg appealing as a sex partner someday. Y'know, a prayer and a curse are the same thing. They only differ in the details. Such are the erg-onomics of gay party politics.

In the quantum model of the universe, any action on (or by) particle a creates an instantaneous reaction on (or by) particle b. Even observing a particle creates a particle reaction. So, for sure, now there will be instantaneous reactions between me and erg for the rest of time. It was all in the script: In spooky quantum science, reality is always non-local. Voodoo quarkonomics.

And my particular version of the quantum particle universe is bouncy! This is how the story goes:

Pele knows we are all entangled, and Pele knows what it means to be treated with a lack of respect. This is why bad things happen to silly haoles[10] who visit the Island and take her lava rocks home with them. They become enmeshed with Pele – in fact, this happens at the very instant of their intention to steal a tangle of her hair without a higher purpose in mind, and only Pele knows what those purposes are. It is a very short list. This mindless action can be remedied, though – the tourists can bounce the lava back to Hawaiian earth, causing a quantum reaction sometimes resembling forgiveness on Pele's part.[11] Like me, Pele forgives but never forgets. As far as we know, entanglement is eternal. Pele's is an impersonal form of forgiveness, just as all true forms of forgiveness are. It's not about you, Pele knows, it's about respect.

So she protects, in a sense, this affronted haole boy, who understands that the only way to resolve unfinished business lies in accepting that, in quantum reality, it is never finished. There is always spooky action at a distance. This is true aloha spirit, Pele knows – after all, it was her idea, though she seldom gets the credit. Respect must be paid. Disrespect must be repaid. Particle b pays particle a.

Or, as Pee-Wee Herman once put it:

''I'm rubber and you're glue. Anything you say bounces off me and sticks to you!''

BOING.

Draw the infinity symbol in the air with your finger, over and over. It's bouncy.

In The Magic Mountain, Thomas Mann implied that we are all inpatients in the institution of humanity. I prefer to think that maybe we're all just kids in the plastic Bounce House.

Love makes us bouncy. And children, it is often said, love the most purely of all.

 

December 26

Three weeks later, I had nearly forgotten about Greg and his rude behavior. The day after Christmas found us entertaining two friends who were spending most of December in the Hawaiian Islands. We treated them to lunch at a phenomenal Mexican restaurant in Pahoa.[12] We all marveled over the flan, the best I've ever tasted. Our spirits were high.

On an impulse, Edmund and Perry asked if we'd like to go see the lava flows. They had been the previous evening and raved over lunch about how spectacular it was. Hubby and I looked at each other expectantly. "Sure, why not?" I replied. What else were we going to do anyhow? It was the day after Christmas, and we both loathed post-holiday sales. So we stopped at the house, where I changed into hiking shoes and grabbed a couple of flashlights, while Hubby packed granola bars and bottled water. With Edmund behind the wheel, we roared off in the rented Infiniti.

We drove to the end of State Highway 130, which stops abruptly where a giant lava flow wiped out most of the town of Kalapana[13] in 1990. From there, it was a longer drive over several miles of dirt road of varying quality. It occurred to me that the rental agency would not have appreciated Edmund's choice of leisure trip in their luxury car. After twenty or so minutes, we arrived. The parking lot at the end of the universe, I smiled to myself. From there, it would be an hour-long hike over lava fields to see the flows.

I did my best to memorize the lay of the land: the long strip of coconut trees in the distance; the configuration of vehicles and trailers adjacent to the lot; and anything I could commit to memory regarding the shape of the mountains and coast where I stood. I repeated this ritual regularly throughout the first twenty minutes of our hike, until I was convinced that I was familiar enough with the landscape to let it go and enjoy the hike with full attention. The hike to the lava flows was lengthy, and it was important to arrive while there was still light.

Perry had taken the lead with ease. He wore khaki shorts that showed off calves and thighs like sculpted bronze. He spent most of the year in training for the Honolulu Marathon, where they had been until six days ago, when they flew from Oahu to the Big Island.

I love hiking over lava flows, and I didn't have much trouble keeping up with Perry, but I was a bit concerned about leaving Hubby in the dust until I realized that he and Edmund had struck up an extended conversation about particle accelerators. Let the physicists have their quality time, I smirked to myself, but I was feeling just a tad outclassed. If I couldn't be in on their abstractions, I could still enjoy the compelling presence of stone and surf. Actually, that seemed like the better deal to me anyhow.

Such hubris. Such crust. I imagine Pele laughing with a Tallulah-like rumble at our self-important ways, the precious arrogance of all humans, barely conceived specks of star-fluff that touched the crusty earth just a minute or two ago. She probably hasn't even noticed us yet, bouncing around like the flecks of foam upon the waves where she mingles with the sea. The world is hers in a way that it can never be ours.

What is a Goddess, anyhow,I mused, if she is not a creation of the collective mind, summoned to bring us perspective, intended to remind us of our proper place in the Universe? How insignificant we are? Not even dandruff on her scalp.

It was just growing dark when we clambered over the final ridge and at last beheld a glowing bar of vertical orange plummeting straight into the ocean. I had seen some photos and a video, but now I understood how vastly they had diminished the astonishing immediacy of this falling fire. The hillside above was aglow with veins of flowing lava, in a formation like the tines of a downward pointing trident. I counted three major arteries and four finer, fainter veins, all of which flowed partway down the hill before disappearing into the earth on its way to meet the water. Occasionally I saw a big chunk of orange breaking off where the lava met the surf, tumbling briefly like a pinwheel through the receding waves before it vanished.

Perry and I stood transfixed, Perry clutching my arm, waiting for Hubby and Edmund to catch up.

"Wow," Edmund panted, as they came to a halt. Everyone was silent. The distant waves filled the air with a faint pounding, nearly a pulse, appearing to echo the fluctuations in the intensity of light that emanated from the glowing hillside. It was as if we were bridging two worlds. All composed things are like a dream.

"This is so special," Hubby murmured, and I could feel the tension between his urge to acknowledge the charged elemental forces at play and his desire not to break the spell.

Soon I noticed volcanic vapors rising from a hole in the ground about 100 yards above us, so I hiked uphill and watched through two adjacent holes in the earth, each about the size of a hula hoop, as a current of molten lava coursed through the exposed lava tube. It really did resemble a rushing river, but this cascade was a brilliant orange with dark, nearly black, sworls running through it. It resembled some unearthly, flowing form of orange marble. Rock, yet not a rock.

I sat alone for five minutes, drinking my fill of this vision before signaling to the others to join me. Together we sat for nearly half an hour, staring into the earth as though it were a campfire.

Unlike Hubby, and a bit to my dismay, Edmund felt no reluctance to break the silence. He was completely overcome, babbling, mantra-like: "Five hundred thousand years old! Risen from the center of the earth! Miles deep!"

Exuberant, he started to charge off and explore yet another band of rising vapor further uphill. Edmund always wants to go further, further, further, I thought, remembering earlier, when he had wanted to detour to the nudist beach for some sun before heading to the lava flows. "Eddy," Perry protested, "We really should get back."

"Yeah," I agreed. We had been at the site for over an hour now, and I knew it would be a bit dodgy, finding our way back to the car over lava fields in the dark, even for highly fit, well fed adults equipped with flashlights and provisions.

Within five minutes of departing our hearth in the earth, the nearly full moon vanished behind a deeply overcast sky, my first confirmation that we were indeed embarked upon a Fool's Journey. Then the formerly rapid-moving Perry disclosed that he had impaired depth perception after dark. "You, too?" said Hubby. "I left my depth-correcting eyeglasses back at the house."

I took a deep breath: This is going to be a long trip home.

Pele, please, be kind to us.

I am blessed with powerful night vision, so for long stretches of time, I kept my flashlight turned off, just in case we ran out of collective battery power.

Then it started raining; just a bit, at first, then moderately hard. Everyone groaned. My T-shirt grew soaked. "Shit," I muttered, "Does anyone have an extra shirt or something I could wear?"

"Perry, I think I've got a rain poncho in that pack you're carrying," Edmund said, taking the canvas sack. "Oh, but won't you need that?" I asked. "Nah," he replied. "I've got a bit more insulation on me." Although we were the same height, Edmund outweighed me by a good and solid thirty pounds. What Edmund lacked in trail-blazing common sense, he almost made up for with sheer confidence. Almost.

Lava fields grow slippery in the rain. I slowed to a crawl, partly for safety but also because I felt hobbled by the even more halting pace of our two vision-impaired members. "We need to keep moving," I stated with grim determination, concerned that the group was making too many stops. "Not too fast, just slow and steady progress. That's what's going to get us back to the car. Keep your weight low and just maintain that steady pace."

I saw that Hubby was shivering a bit. "Are you all right?" I asked him. "Do you want to wear the poncho?"

"No, that's okay," he said. "Well, all right," I said, unconvinced, "but let me know if you change your mind." I didn't really want to give up the poncho, but at least I was wearing long pants. Hubby's tendency to wear shorts for every occasion exasperated me sometimes. On the other hand, I hadn't done much better by wearing the T-shirt.

In contrast to the others, Edmund moved too quickly and, lacking my acute night vision, had a tendency to lead us onto rises of steep, sharp 'a'ā lava, causing us to re-trace our path at several points. I knew it was best to stick to the lower-lying troughs of the smoother pahoehoe lava, even though it meant taking the long way around the embankments and possibly impairing our sense of direction.

"Edmund, you need to slow down," I pleaded. "Try sticking to the lower path, even if it means taking longer. We can't keep backtracking like this."

"Maybe we should head closer to the ocean," Perry said. "Yeah," Edmund agreed, "It might be easier to find our way back if we could at least hear the water."

I wish they could see the path the way I can, I thought. Something was guiding me, and it wasn't just memory. It seemed like some kind of cool, dark radiance. This could be so much easier, I thought. Silly Greg and his party flashed across my mind. Strange thoughts emerge under stress. Crossed paths, crossed wires. Spooky energy at a distance.

"That sounds good," I began, "but I think we should do our best to retrace our steps, even though it's confusing sometimes with all these switchbacks." Yet I knew it would be too much to restrain Edmund's impulsiveness for long. For the moment, I was challenged enough, just to keep the rain from dripping into my eyes, and I didn't trust anyone else to lead us back to safety.

Soon enough, Edmund was hiking ahead of the party again. I tried to maintain a pace somewhere between his and the others', but before long, we were spread out over several hundred yards. Fine, then, I thought. I'll stick with the slower-moving guys and let Edmund run himself aground a few more times. I hope he doesn't lose track of us. It was hard to see around these buttes of lava.

Eventually, though, he stopped and waited for us. The rain had abated, but the lava was still slick, and I was exasperated. "I know I've said this already, but if we go too fast, we risk falling on this lava. If we change our course, we're more likely to overshoot the parking lot altogether." I remembered a story I'd seen on the Internet about a guy who ended up stumbling around for most of a week before he was found.[14] "People do get lost out here." Pele likes boys, I thought. Maybe she's partial to the gay ones. Not so many of us around. And I'll bet we're harder to catch.

Edmund took Perry's hand and surged forward, which I thought was a workable solution, since now he would have to slow down for Perry. Still, he managed to steer them onto a moderate drop-off, which they managed to traverse safely to lower ground.

"Watch, now!" Pele says, as she points her finger toward the ocean, oblivious to the four ants crossing her path as they crawl across the night. The lava hits the water, releasing an unearthly vapor. She draws infinity, over and over. Her island grows larger each year.

Hubby, trailing them, starts to cross the gully, but then he slips and falls on the brittle lava. Badly. It happens nearly in slow motion, but it is bad enough. Now, by the glow of Edmund's flashlight, it becomes evident that Hubby's worn-out tennis shoes have virtually no traction. Why didn't he change into something better when we stopped at the house, like I did? It was reflexive; I hadn't even thought about it, much less about checking with him.

"Fuck," I mutter, as we stand here in the rain, blood streaming from Hubby's badly gashed calf and hands.

Twenty-one miles away, Greg drops the last string of tree lights onto the kitchen countertop with a flourish. He stops for a quick bump off his new glass bong, a secret Christmas present to himself. He starts his micro-torch and draws infinity onto the marble-sized bowl with the pointy blue flame, melting the clear, chunky rock into liquid. He licks his lips, then caresses the stem. A vaporous cloud collects in the tiny bowl. He has filled the chamber with Everclear; now he pulls the white vapor across the clear liquid. The high-octane alcohol bubbles as it mixes with the air and the drug. The mingled vapors shoot up the stem, surging into his eager lungs. He pulls back the torch, but the butane flame flicks his fingertip, a tiny, sharp lick that startles and stings:

"FUCK!!"

The bong slips from his grip and shatters on the kitchen tile. He leaps up, stunned, choking on his hit of meth. He brings his bare foot down on shards of superheated glass. The stinging alcohol flows across the tile and fills the fresh cuts, as the torch sets the highly flammable liquid on fire. Greg catches a whiff of something burning just before he slips and hits his head on the edge of the countertop.

Pele smiles. Her teeth are sharp. She licks her lips.

She is unaware of the silly haole boy, but she feels the thrilling surge of cool, dark radiance. Somewhere, somehow, disrespect is being repaid.

"Does anyone have a hanky?" I ask. "Anything similar?" Edmund drops his trousers. I rinse out the gash with some of the bottled water and fashion a tourniquet out of the nobly donated underpants; no wasted motion. Black silk, I notice. Matches the car, I smirk. Edmund was nothing if not a bon vivant.

Thus our adventure plummets from the sublime to the ridiculous in one fell swoop. Or, to be a bit more precise, one swooping fall.

December 26, 1946: Two Kulani Prison Camp inmates die and eighteen are hospitalized after a shellac alcohol drinking party at the camp.[15]

Now I was worried about Hubby's possibly going into hypothermia or injury-related shock. I was torn between the need to guide slowest-moving Hubby safely over the lava and the urge to be out front, leading us back to the car.

"Are you sure we shouldn't be heading closer to the coast?" Perry asked.

"Trust me, that parking lot is further inland than you think it is. Now, let's not add to our troubles by changing our mind, okay? We've been through this already."

Perry looked dubious.

"Look. I'll run ahead to that next rise, see? And I'll take a look around from the top, and see what I can see. I don't think we have much further to go now. Just don't split up, okay? Give me two minutes." I flipped on the flashlight and set off.

I came to the crest of the lava bank and stared into the blackness. Nothing. Just then, it started to rain again. I held out my hands, palms upward, beseeching the stars for any kind of sign whatsoever. Dejected, I headed cautiously back down the hillock.

"I can't see anything," I reported. "I – I just don't know anymore. I'm pretty sure we haven't passed the parking lot." I wondered, though, if somehow we had gotten turned around. The hills were still on our left, but I could no longer see the glowing trident mountain. Nothing looked familiar at this point. "Just five more minutes, okay? Five more minutes, and then we'll talk about it again." My voice was losing conviction, like a battery losing power. "I feel like a broken record, but we have got to stay together. And if we go too fast, there will be more spills on this lava. Just stay the course … please just stay the course." I swallowed hard, trying to relieve the sudden tension in my throat. I can't cry now, I thought.

Hubby spoke up: "Actually, I was doing better, walking with Perry. We guide each other well, because of the mutual depth-perception problem." Of course. "That's a good idea," I agreed. "Why don't you two stick together, then?" Perry seemed relieved. "I'd like some water," he said. "That's great," I agreed, a bit too quickly. "Let's all drink some water."

We passed around a plastic bottle in the rain. Hubby's flashlight had fallen apart during the fall, and now he pieced it back together, but I noticed that it was painful for him. I wondered at the countless tiny flecks of lava that must have embedded themselves in his hands when he fell. I had seen his palms, bleeding and scratched, when I had poured the stream of bottled water onto his hands a few minutes ago. The rain didn't help his grip, either. And the flashlight no longer worked, so I turned on mine. It was too bad I couldn't just venture ahead, fetch the damn Infiniti, and drive it across these god-forsaken lava fields.

Soon we were moving again. The fickle rain abated, but the lava remained slick. We moved at a crawl past the rise I'd climbed, emerging onto a large, flat, lunar-looking plain.

Edmund, who would not be restrained, had marched ahead of the group and saw it first; a quick, whitish flicker, low on the horizon, maybe a quarter mile in front of us. "Holy fuck!" he shouted. "That! Did you see it?"

I thought maybe it was just a meteor flash, but then the pickup truck's headlights came on and stayed on. He must have seen the flicker bouncing from Edmund's flashlight. Now I could see the faint outline of the coconut trees behind the parking lot. "Thank god," I wheezed.

Back at the house, Perry made us a batch of steaming cocoa as I tapped out an email and sent it off to our friends in Kea'au, the same couple who had brought us to Greg's party:

… and I just have to drive the Hubby to the ER in Hilo now. He has a very nasty gash in one calf that I am sure will require antibiotics. For now, I've rinsed it out with purified water and a few rounds of hydrogen peroxide, dressed it with Neosporin, and covered it with a large adhesive pad. I'm also concerned about a possible bruised rib or two. Plus, he has a lot of cuts on his hands, but as far as I can tell, we've extracted most of the lava bits.

Still, would I do it again, for the lava experience?

Absolutely.

It had taken nearly two and a half hours to hike back to the car, more than twice as long as the trip out to the flows during the rain-free daylight. Soon we had sent Edmund and Perry on their way, and were zooming up the slick black stripe of Highway 130, then up the road that led to Hilo.

As we sat down to fill out paperwork in the emergency room lobby, a pair of paramedics burst through the swinging doors at the back of the hall, wheeling in a horribly disfigured man hooked up to an IV bag of saline solution. What I could see of his skin was blotchy, shiny, and blistered, reminding me of wet lava. Most of his hair seemed to be burned off. "House fire victim in Hawaiian Acres," one of them explained to the intake nurse. "Second-degree burns over maybe forty percent of his body."

Lava lines. Fault lines.

Whose fault is it, anyway?

Pele laughs. She knows it's her fault, all the time.




FOOTNOTES

 

[1] Herbert, N., 1998, <http://mail.cruzio.com/~quanta/bell.html>: "One description of The Einstein-Poldalsky-Rosen Experiment (the EPR Experiment).
Herbert [1] describes the situation of two quantum particles that are once together flying apart and being measured at two distant locations. There exists a connection between the particles such that the fact of an observation of particle A is relayed to the distant particle B, in such a manner that the communication, 'does not diminish with distance, cannot be shielded, and travels faster than light.' The fact of the two particles' once being together is sufficient to mingle the particles’ phases (which the author refers to as 'quantum phase entanglement'). This results in the effect being “non-local” (whereas all ordinary light-speed-limited forces are referred to as “local”).

[2] http://net-burst.net/revenge/love_and_wrath_of_God.htm: "Most of us delight in finding people whose sins we can despise. We rarely analyze why we do this, but it is actually our pathetic way of getting our minds off our own sins and drowning out the screams of our consciences." (Author note: A wonderful article. Lots of great Biblical quotes you can toss at any Fundies who give you a hassle for being your marvelous queer self. Or just Google on "Christian compassion" and "revenge" – it's the first hit!)

[3] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aloha: Over the decades the word aloha has been used in reference to a complex state of mind called the Aloha Spirit or sense of aloha. The Aloha Spirit is often described as a sense of care and hospitality to those around as well as respect for their personhood, even in the face of stressful environments, occasions or people.

[4] http://www.hanaaloha.com/. If the site is down, you can try a fetch at: http://gigablast.com/get?d=97339629715.

[5] http://the.honoluluadvertiser.com/article/2006/Dec/09/ln/150history.html: "December 7, 1941: Just before 8 a.m., 183 Japanese planes attack U.S. aircraft carriers and battleships at Pearl Harbor as well as Hickam Field and other U.S. air bases on O'ahu. A second wave of 170 planes follow, attacking Bellows Field and Ford Island. The assaults lasted about 90 minutes, and when it was over, 2,388 men, women and children had been killed, including 1,177 sailors from the USS Arizona. Among the dead were 49 civilians, many killed by friendly fire as U.S. forces tried desperately to mount a defense."

[6] The Diamond Sutra, a Prajnaparamita text

[7] http://the.honoluluadvertiser.com/article/2006/Dec/09/ln/150history.html: "December 7, 1962: Kilauea Volcano erupts at 1 a.m. near the Chain of Craters Road, lighting the sky with a reddish hue visible more than 10 miles away."

[8] burlesque is originally from the Spanish word burla, meaning joke.

[9] Entangled is a synonym for enmeshed. See enmeshment at http://sfhelp.org/pop/enmeshed.htm, which states in part: "In human relationships, this term means two or more people who don't have clear identities and boundaries (limits) that separate one person from the other. Thus an enmeshed person can't distinguish the difference between my needs, feelings, opinions, and priorities and yours. This condition suggests both people survived a low-nurturance childhood and have significant false-self wounds."

[10] http://www.m-w.com/dictionary/haole: sometimes disparaging: one who is not descended from the aboriginal Polynesian inhabitants of Hawaii; especially: white.

[11] http://www.lapietra.edu/scienceweb/Kilauea2004/sites/40/Legend_of_Pele.html: "There are tons of rocks that are mailed back to Hawaii Volcanoes National Park, a year. They are used to getting five or six rocks a day, along with black sand, conch shells, Pele's tears, all enclosed in packages." Personal stories and more at: http://www.volcanogallery.com/lavarock.htm

[15] http://the.honoluluadvertiser.com/article/2006/Dec/26/ln/150history.html




Wishing you a beautiful day,

Bill Brent


[this page last updated: 2007.06.09, 2:30 p.m. Hawaii time]


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April 06, 2007

VERBOXIOUS: the trouble with words. Post #3, 2007.04.06

a feature of LitBoy.com about the trouble with words

I am nice because I should be. I am kind because I want to be.

If that doesn't immediately make sense to you, then think of "nice" as "pleasant," and "kind" as generous.

This is my way of discriminating between when I feel obliged by custom and convention to be pleasant, which often I don't enjoy doing, and when I feel at choice to offer assistance and support to those who need it, or who don't need it but might appreciate the gesture anyhow.

So I am posting this as a reminder to myself about the difference, and perhaps to provoke some conversation about when we are at choice versus when we unwittingly do or say pleasant things that we don't really mean. Feel free to submit a comment with examples from your everyday life, and I will post anything I like.

That's a pun. What if we all just posted anything we liked? Wouldn't the world be a more honest place? We all dislike insincerity, especially when it is directed at us, yet it is so easy to slip into being insincere that we may not even realize we are doing it. Insincerity is a mild form of dishonesty, and perhaps the most pervasive.

So I am picking on the word "nice" in particular because it is so abused wherever I go. "Have a nice day" became the tritest, most ridiculed phrase of the 1970s, at least where I lived. Niceness thus became trivialized and denuded of sensuality — antiseptic. Now there's a word for you — antiseptic. It's rather anti-sceptic, if you ask me. Skepticism has been pummeled into defensiveness in many quarters. Being a skeptic isn't nice. Questioning life, the universe, and everything (authority, perhaps) looks good on a bumper-sticker, but how many of us walk the talk?

Merriam-Webster tells us that "septic" means "of, relating to, or causing putrefaction." In other words, decay. I have a problem accepting decay as a natural and necessary part of the environment when it crosses the threshold into my home. We live in the Hawaiian rainforest in a house that, this winter's rains revealed, has a leaky roof above the entryway and living-room areas. So right now, we have a mushroom fungus growing out of the ceiling. Not so nice. So the first day I spotted that, I demanded that my partner (the title holder) look into getting the roof fixed. Not very nice, perhaps, but very practical indeed. And certainly sincere. We'd had some warning signs (black mold growing on the white rafters) but as yet had taken no action toward resolving the issue.

Often we avoid resolving issues with others because we are determined to be nice at all costs. Yet all this face-saving doesn't go very far, if at all, toward facing up to our problems and resolving them. So, ultimately, we're only hurting ourselves anyhow when we try to avoid hurting others. Cutting off your nose to spite your face isn't very nice, now, is it?

The way to resolve this dilemma is to look for the greater kindness that results in being direct rather than avoidant. The universe tends to grant us what we need when we take good care of ourselves. (If you prefer the Judeo-Christian version, then you can say that God helps those who help themselves.) Being kind to yourself is easy. We often confuse it with selfishness, though. Yet healthy people, in my opinion, put their needs before the needs of others. This is not to say that you should ignore others' needs. That's where kindness comes in. So take some for yourself, and give some to others. Or, as Melody Beattie has said, "Self-care sometimes means 'me first,' but usually, 'me too." Being kind to yourself is fundamental to leading a happy life, rather than letting an unhappy life lead you around by the nose, and into decay. That stinks.

However, there are some people who don't want to be happy. It's obvious. They may claim otherwise, but their actions betray their lack of commitment to happiness. So the kindest thing to do for yourself is not to engage with them at all, or as little as possible. I once had to do this with a family member who was severely abusive to me in a verbal manner. At that point, her lack of respect for my autonomy (freedom of choice) had so deteriorated that it was impossible for me to be kind or even nice to her any longer. So the ultimate kindness to both of us, since she was so clearly unhappy with me, was to cut her off. I have never regretted this decision for more than a few moments now and then. It always passes quickly.

Ask yourself who deserves your kindness. It's your life. Don't be so nice.

[last updated: 2007.04.17, 12:30 p.m. Hawaii time]

 



Wishing you a beautiful day,

€”Bill Brent


LitBoy.com is a professional blog. Keeping it online costs me $179 per year. That's before paying me for my writing, photography, or anything else I do. If you enjoy this blog, please use the Tip Jar at the top of this page. Your two-dollar minimum donation helps keep this banner-free site alive. It's quick and easy!

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February 24, 2007

Pointless Remorse 101

"Some must die so that others may live in peace."

LavatreeunderraincloudHas been true.

Will always be true?

Here's an extremely trivial example of this principle. Earlier today, I killed a mosquito that was flying around the living room. When I squashed it, it was juicy with my blood. I remembered one hand itching when I had awakened in the middle of the night, so it had probably gotten me by then.

Within ten minutes of squashing it, a second mosquito had bitten me. It is still at large.

It's just a consequence of the rain. Whenever it rains off and on a lot, the mosquito population increases.

Supposedly garlic is the best overall repellent. I looked for garlic capsules at the drug store the other day, but the only kind they had were rather expensive and, having taken them before, I wasn't convinced that they had really done me much good. Maybe the garlic content needs to be higher, or maybe I need to take a rather large amount of pills for the effect to occur. I'll go back to cooking with garlic, instead. I don't know if any of this really does any good, but at least if I'm doing something proactive to repel the mosquitos, then I don't feel as sorry for killing them.

So yeah, I admit to feeling guilty about killing mosquitos. I know it's irrational, since we have a mosquito zapper in the front yard that kills them all the time. But is it really completely irrational? It's unfortunate that they like to hover in doorways, where it's cool and dark, and then they waft into the house as we come and go. I don't like killing things. It seems wrong. Intellectually, I know that's just my illusion, or perhaps my subscription to our mass delusions about death in a death-averse culture. When a friend was visiting last week, she grabbed one out of the air, carried it outside, and set it free. This did not make me feel any better about killing them. On the other hand, neither did I change my ways.

AcupuncturehandOn the other other hand, neither were they stinging her.

I know I'm spinning on this. Negative emotions and confusion tend to kick in when I'm under stress, and I've been under a lot of stress recently. Some of it has been rewarding and beneficial stress, but it is stress nonetheless, mostly due to being removed from my usual routine, doing a lot of driving around the Big Island, and thus being out in public far more than typically.

Plus, I've been sleeping in a dry, overheated room for the past two nights, and waking up with a headache. I took a long nap today, in a cooler room, which got rid of the headache. Furthermore, I haven't been eating as well as I could. It is hard for me to stop myself long enough to do good self-care when I go into hyper-creative mode, and I have been really hard at work on some intense writing projects since I resumed my regular schedule Thursday. Also, due to the frequent rains, it has been a bit hard to go for a cool-down walk.

And instead of my usual walk, I fairly well wasted over three hours Thursday evening, driving to and from Hilo amidst heavy rain and sitting in a rather dreary computer room with a volunteer from a local program designed to help low-income people prepare their taxes and claim the Earned Income Credit, which it turns out I do not qualify for because I have royalty income from book-writing, which the IRS classifies as passive rather than earned income. They should have caught this over the phone when the intake clerk scheduled my appointment, or at least within the first half-hour of my visit. It shouldn't have wasted two hours of two people's time to realize that I didn't belong in that chair. It was tough. I ended up guiding her a lot since her ability to navigate the browser, locate the forms she wanted, or find the right spots to fill in some amounts (in other words, various forms of logical and observational power that I take for granted) were, frankly, rather limited, especially after she made a mistake that lost a bit of data. She seemed to grow more self-conscious after that.

The night before that, I had insomnia, during which I posted a long reply to an email list that was, in retrospect, more of a writing exercise for myself, and probably a way of testing out how I seek guiding principles through my sometimes unorthodox form of logic. But it was probably a form of attention-grabbing as well, and I am wondering a bit about the wisdom of having done that.

That's a lot of "ands".

Oh, and the NPR station in Honolulu just interrupted its regular program (highly unusual) to announce that the current rain is stationary. So it will  sit overhead for a while. There are flash flood warnings. This may result in loss of Internet or electric power for part of the weekend, so I'm posting this now, while I still can, and then I will get some food. Maybe I'll fix something with garlic.

January 09, 2007

Here Comes the Rain Again

Here comes the rain again,
Raining in my head like a tragedy,
Tearing me apart like a new emotion....

 

And that emotion, friends, is EXASPERATION.

Maybe I'm funny this way, but when it rains nonstop for two weeks, it doesn't depress me, it pisses me off.

I know no one believes you when you live in Hawaii and complain about the weather, but this storm cycle is dreary. I'd almost forgotten how dismal it was here in January last year.

Some days (right this instant, in fact) it's like living inside a carwash. The roofs here tend to be corrugated tin, and the sound of a thunderstorm can be incredible. Sometimes it's heady and wonderful. On a regular basis, though, the din of rain hammering tin grows oppressive. It implies the relentless subjugation of my will in obeisance to the weather. Can't go out and walk, can't work in the yard, can't go for a drive and run errands unless absolutely necessary – because it's just too dismal to be dodging the drenchings, in and out of the car, parking and unparking, the damp clothes growing moister and heavier against my skin. It becomes clearer to me why we have been doing Winter Solstice rituals for millennia.

I could still go for a walk, I guess, but that would require an umbrella, and taking a walk with an umbrella when the ground is already this soggy would be akin to eating bran for dessert – good for my constitution, perhaps, but devoid of genuine pleasure. More effort expended than benefit received.

I seldom get caught for long in the grip of negative emotion, but it can still be a bit overwhelming when I do. Nowadays I can usually pull myself together in three deep breaths, out of the ether and back in my body. And then I think, how lucky am I to live here the rest of the time, when it's quite lovely. That makes me calm. I'm not the weather.

It's cold today, though. We have space heaters going. Hawaii doesn't insulate its houses, unless they are up in the hills. There are a few days a year, though, when it seems like a really great idea. Oh, well. We should all be learning to live with less, I suppose. Sometimes I see comfort as becoming outdated as we march toward whatever fallout shelter there is from our century of staying too long at the party. No, I'm not prognosticating gloom and doom, but it does strike me that we are all going to tighten our belts, if we are not already doing so, except for that top percent or so who will be able to buy their way out of discomfort. So get grounded, peeps. Do your exercises. Brush your teeth. Say your prayers, whatever they may be, and do unto others. We may all live to be a hundred soon, so the more adept we become at self-management, and living graciously in close quarters, the better it's all going to be, not just for ourselves but for each other and the rest of the planet.

Meanwhile, it just started coming down even harder. I can barely see sixty feet into the lot next door. Grim.

So what's your favorite rain song?